Remember remember the...er...11th of November.

Happy Rememberence day my lovely alarm clocks!
Never forget today is:
My dad's birthday
Becky's dad's birthday
Emily's friend Jess' birthday
Lois' birthday
and I'm pretty sure none of these people even died in a war. Bruv.

I am so BLEEEEEEPIN' angry at Mr Webb. If I have to do my eportfolio again I will
Slit him open
Stamp on his face
Throw him in a road
Run over him
Reverse over him
Run over him
Reverse over him
Chop him in to pieces
Throw him on a bonfire
and say "I'm not even very happy."

After I had shaken of my burning rage it was, yes ladies and gentlemen, time for pianooooooooo.
Diminished sevenths... *shudder*
But then the horror of today (not toady as I almost typed. LOL) was blown away like an Emily in the breeze because we went out for daddy's birthday meal.

I bought my dad a Spandau Ballet CD (they are apparently not a ballet company, but a band that were 'cool' in the time when dinosaurs roamed the earth and my dad was 'hip' and 'groovy'. Ish. I reassured my dad there was nothing wrong with him liking ballet anyway.)
I also noticed that Dad had a lot of Sonic the Hedgehog cards from the kids he teached. Now, this obviously poses the questions: Has my dad become a secret gamer in his old age? And, more importantly, what's on telly tonight?
There was also a card with 'Harris Ice Creams' on it. So, either there's a secret gamer's ice cream van I don't know about ('cos it's a secret, innit?) or the kid really likes ice cream. Number one is most likely.

Anyway, back to the meal. My dear form tutor Mr Gladdy was in Shanaz when we arrived. He was wearing a hoodie. Rebel. (I'd like to point out he wasn't JUST wearing a hoodie, eurgh). We had some interesting convos, me and the 'rents. Mainly about electric fences and pringle pots, but me and my dear mama had a right waffle when she blurted out a bit too loud; "So you had a fat, ugly hooker?" Mmmhmm. They were talking about 'rugby'. Sure.

Enough ranting for one night
Adios fellows
Beth x

Zumbaaaa :)

Evenin' dear readers.

It is so much EFFORT to get up at 7 o'clock in the morning.
"Bethy! Are you awake?"
"No."
One day I may pretend to be dead. That would be funny. In a non-funny sort of way.

P.E. was awesome. We were doing ZUMBA (hence the title) which is a Latin dancey aerobicy type thingy. There was a lot of GIRATION FOR THE NATION (quote Talon at Youth Synod last year) and hip-wiggling in a cheesy, embarrassing, odd-looking way. Woop.

My English teacher was in a bad mood again. But she arose from the dark abyss of despair long enough to make the legendary joke of "Vocab-you-larry!"
As Jake would say; "Epic fail". But it did remind me of Larry the Cucumber, so I will let her off.

So after a surprisingly fairly above-average day at school, I went down to the café and hung around. Me and Jake did the awesome sweet-catching game again. We are getting better at it. Kind of. Jack was being a stroppy grumpy sulky pants, because him and Emily had a raging barney (i.e. they fell out). "Oooh I'm Jack Baines and I'm sulky bloop bloop bloop" etc. Jake and Tamsin were luvey-duveying again. Mwah mwah. Bless themmmmmmm. I hung around until 5 o'clock when all the "leet" Youth exec-ers came down for their meeting. This was so I could "mingle". Man, do I suck at mingling. Jo and I had the rousing convo of
"Beth, how are you?"
"Fine thanks."
"Good."
Inspiring I know.

Well, that's about it for my beautifully normal day.
So, enough now.
Beth x

Mmmm... Shrimps.

Bloggy Time!

I currently have a toothbrush in my mouth (a real one, not a sweetie one, that comes later...) because I am 'going to bed' because I have 'school tomorrow'. What my parents don' t know is that instead of school tomorrow I am going to migrate to Truro in Canada (so I don't get confused name-wise: "Where do you live?" "Truro" and it would be true and everything) and hopefully the moose will accept me as one of their own. I've heard there are no people in Canada, only moose and the occasional American who has got lost and wandered aimlessly over the border. Americans don't count as people. They're American. Anyway, where was I before the mad Canada rant? Oh yes, I'm 'going to bed', so shhhh you nuisance.

Happy Rememberance Sunday!
Lettuce have a moment of silence for those who have lost their lives in war.













Ok, enough now.

I didn't actually do the minute of silence this morning because I was on creché. This means I was beating the lil'uns into order instead of being in the service. I'm kidding about the child-beating by the way. Freddie decided to get out the fire engine toy complete with sound during the silence. Awkward. Nee Naw Nee Naw.

I am very disappointed to see that Tamsin has deleted her 'blog rape' post left after yours truly hacked into her account. Actually, it wasn't so much 'hacked' as 'her password was saved on my computer'. But ho hum, pig's bum. Genuinely did some science revishhhh this aftie, be proud of me, fools. Diffusion is the passive movement of a substance from a high concentration to a low concentration. Yes mate.

At 'footsteps' tonight we were talking about judging. I technically should know all about judging and how it's wrong blah blah, but I kinda sorta maybe fell asleep during the judging seminar at Soul Survivor. Poor Hannah and Tamsin eventually had to tickle my feet to wake me up. Whoops. Then during our 'sit and chat for an hour or so' time we had a sweet throwing competition which literally went on for about an hour. This was basically me and Jake trying to throw sweets into the other's mouth. LOL. Our high score was two. Kerchingggggg. I threw sweetie toothbrushes, teeth and cola bottles to him, and he threw shrimps to me (seriously, I could eat a whole forest full of them) whilst Tamsin and Em-Schmem scavenged for the ones that fell on the floor. I would call them Hobos but that would be judging.

I am actually getting sleepy now
So over and out,
Beth x

Why does it always hail on me? ♪

Crikey, it rained a lot today, don'tcha think?
Drip, drip, drop massive November showers.

I had a dream last night that I went on holiday to Spain and forgot my suitcase, so I got the plane home and went and packed. As you do. I was awoken from my peaceful slumber at about 10 o'clock by the howly howly wind. So I started Twilight again. Yep, still amazing. I then did an hour of Wii Fit, so I was toned and ready to get in the shower. We walked Spot on Perran Sands in the aftie and, joy of joys, it started pithing it down. The entire right side of my body (mainly the clothes, I wasn't naked) was soaked. I had to peel my jeans off. My mum and I were doing the whole "Ow! Ow! Ow!" routine as the hail hit us.

Then it was time to venture to Niamhy's house. We were SUPPOSED to see some fireworks but, oh no, the flamin' rain (which wasn't technically on fire, come to mention it) started up again. So we (me, Mia and Niamh)sat in her room, read the Jack Wills catalogue, played Sims 2, listened to Niamh on the phone to a friend from Buuuuuuurton, had jackie tatties for tea and then, ooh, watched X FACTOR! I LOVE OLLY AND JOE! After Mia had gone, we went into her lounge to get mauled by her two huuuuuuuuuge Newfoundlands. Slobber. Yum. My dad got lost coming to pick me up, bless his heart. He was driving around like a maniac for near 20 minutes.

I've noticed that everyone else's blogs are getting funnier, when mine are going the other way. I must up my game. In the mean time ♪ Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ♪
This is what the choir is singing on the Festival of Rememberance (on t'telly).

I must go and watch men in funny hats.
Au revoir
Beth x

Crash barriers, ey?

Evening chummlies.



I am sitting here blogging with some of my favouritest people in der Welt, Emily Dunn-Stupid and Tamsin Sandybum. They are beautiful persons, isn't it though. They are talking about 'stuff' which I'm 'not allowed to blog about'. But I will anyway. They are talking about Jake. Again. I swear Tamsin NEVER stops. Oooh Jake this Jake that blah blah blah. Jake, if you are reading this ASK HER OUT! NOOOOOOWWWWW. You text enough to end world hunger... kind of. We were talking about poking badgers too, (see Tamsin's blog) but that is not as embarrassing for Tamsin :) Muhahaha.



School was a bit of a LOL today. Double maths (exciting I know) with lollies and graphical inequalities extrodinaire. I also dissected a lamb's heart today. Awesome. Fish was really getting into it, we were doing the whole "Scalpel!" thing, sticking our fingers through the Aorta and whatnot. The left ventricle was rather HOT if I do say so myself, which I just did. We were also doing a Research Task in Physics, about road safety. Mmmhmm. My dear friend Schmemma made a humourous comment: "At least when I'm driving into a crash barrier, I can know that it'll absorb some of the energy." To which I added "And you'll know that it's at least 0.61 metres off the ground." It's good to know, to be fair.


Chicken fajitaaaaas for tea (olé etc.). Yum yum in my tum. Then the Tismin und ich had a chocolate mousse (no, not mouse) eating contest. Just one rule: no spoons! It was quite a bubble, especially since my pot had a crack in it. In a moment of pure geniosity I declared "I shall lick it out through the crack!" at which dear Tamsin practically wet herself laughing. Dirty, dirty girl.

Wii Fit time now. If I'm honest, none of the friendlies were very good at flying, the fools. But they are lovely people, so I may forgive them. Then we looked at baby names. We read the whole darn book :) Me and Tim (who wasn't there, nevertheless) both like the name Poppy so I've decided he can adopt my baby. It's due in a week. Good luck to him.

Am off now, I have some parallel stretching to do.
Beth x

Oooooh! Aaaaaaah!

Arrr me hearties, tonight be Bonfire Night. So grab your scarf and wooly hat (which I'm not sure many pirates own, nevertheless) and go and toast a fire over the marshmallow! Wait...



I've just got back from seeing some luverly fireworks 'up Tremorvah' as the roughians and scalliwags would say. I may have given some bloke £5 more change than I was supposed to...

Oh well, it was dark and he'll have a nice surprise when he opens his wallet, compliments of l'Harris. So that was a fabulous evening and a half, full of loud bangs and bonfire smoke in the eye. But it's all in the name of blowing up the Houses of Parliament... isn't it?

They were pretty impressive foreworks to be fair, they had them all: the BANG ones, the WEEEEEEE ones, the FIZZLE ones and the nice little POP ones. You know what I mean.



I'm not a huge fan of Thursdays, they just seem to last forever. Physics, Chemistry, Prefect Duty instead of break, Maths, English, Paired Reading, then the wonderment of English again. Woopee! Then to top it all off I had afterschool Spanish. On the bright side, I can now book a hotel room in Spanish. I can't tell you how many times I have needed to do that. But now with a simple: Una habitacion idiviual con baño completo para mañana por favor, I can confuse hotel receptionists the country over.

Sozzzzzz bbzzzzzzz that it's a shortie this fine evening, but as our Lord Henry VIII would say; I'm hungry.
Later Skaters
Beth x

Waschmöglichkeiten (yes, I said washing facilities).

Ach ja! Hallo meine kleine Freunden!

Heute spreche ich Deutsch, weil ich eine Schwäche für Lederhosen habe ;)
Klar! Auch, habe ich drei Stunden Deutsch gelernt. Aus meiner Perspektive war das ziemlich langweilig.

I did that without an online translator or anything! Get me :)
And, in case you're worried, I don't really have a weakness for lederhosen. It's just that three hours of German really does slightly melt your brain into the shape of the Reichstag.
If I'm not carful I will start eating Schnitzel and singing "Das Lied der Deutschen" at the same time. Now that WOULD be tragic.

After three hours of German and two hours of mind-numbing ICT, mainly spent staring at Flash and willing it to work, it was time for pia-pia-piano. I'm luuuurving my Haydn piece at the moment. Not so sure about the Chopin, and whoever invented melodic minors deserves a short, sharp visit from a pointy stick.
So I as I scuttled off to tinkle the ivories (not tinkle ON the ivories as my teacher would not be best pleased) my 'rents had to endure the bright sparkling wonderment of Parents Evening.
The one I was most worried about was history as I never dare say a word in lessons so he probably thinks I'm either very lazy or very stupid. Luckily the only negative he had was saying I need to give my ideas more, think out loud.
Well, his actual words were "She needs to spar with me in lessons". Now, I thought spar meant fight, but I'm not sure he would appreciate it if snuck up behind him and clubbed him over the head with a history textbook. Those babies are mighty heavy.
I certainly hope he didn't mean 'spa'. Mr Blyth in a Jacuzzi does not bear thinking about. *Shudder*

Fish and Chipppies for tea. Yum Yum. Except now I've got the greasy aftertaste in my mouth. Nicht so gut. Oh poo, I'm German-ising again. And don't worry Tamsin, I saved some chips for you, you lucky ducky.

I was thinking about college courses and I'm a bit stumped. I was thinking about doing the IB, and I know what I'd do if I did it (wow, that was a confusing sentence). But then with A levels you get more frees and don't have to do all this extra stuff on top... And I don't know. I may join a convent. That would be easier.

Anyways, I'm going to laugh at my mum doing some Wii Fit Plus now and 'do some science homework'. So toodleoo my chickadees :)
Beth x

Triple History and Chutney...

Ooh hello there! You're looking lovely today :)
I don't really know how you look, but take a compliment! Sheesh.

So basically the majority of my day has been taken up by "Cold War, Soviet Union, Communists, Nuclear weapons, Stalin, Vietnam War blah blah blah..."
Such is the joy of three hours of history.
On the bright side, I could tell you all the Republics that made up the Soviet Union. My life is now complete. In a moment of good spirits Blythy showed us the funniest video you will ever see that has a Russian in it! (Well, they're not especially known for their good humour.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOaGgY2yUHw
This is a genuine video and these guys are the hard nuts of the Russian Armed Forces. Seriously.
Sudden urge to become a Russian Paratrooper now.

I was running lines with Katie Roskkkk, bless her heart, at break today for her Drama performance. It involved a lot of chutney. Asking for chutney, searching for chutney and even listing different types of chutney for three pounds a week or something. I don't even like chutney and it really put me off my fruity fruity fruit string. Becky Hannnn let Katie borrow her hat from her dressing up box for Drama. It looks like a dead bird was dipped in blue paint and stitched onto a hat with some lace. Fit. But Becky wants it back for tonight so she can wear it to the 'Hat Festival'. That is a made up thing. Do not try and go to your local Hat Festival.

I walked down the hill with Emilyyyyyy after I'd sung the 'Augustus Gloop' song from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to her at lunch today. I think it was GRAPEly aPEACHiated. Mmmhmm. It turns out that some Ginger kid from Truro School has pretended to go out with her. Curse you, Ginger Guy! I will find GG wherever he/she/it (you can't be sure) may be.

My beautiful tri-coloured Collie Spot is sweetly slumbering next to me as I write this. My dear father is also having a snooze, but I wouldn't call it sweet as he as just woken himself up by a paticularly loud, rumbling snore. It's all nice and snuggly-buggly in here with the fire crackling away. In the fireplace, I mean. I'm not admiring my house being on fire. Toasty warm, mmmmmm... I could almost... Zzzzzzzz.

Kidding, I have science homework and piano practice to do. Later fellas.
Beth x

Pinch, punch, second of the month.

Happy day after the day after Halloween everybody!

I'm not paticularly fond of Halloween at any rate. Little kids running around, playing knock and run without the running! Everytime I hear "Trick or Treat!" I just want to respond with "Smack in the face!" Seriously, what is the appeal? Shut up and go home, you little morons (in the nicest possible way).

So on Halloween, instead of celebrating ghosts or whatever, I ventured over to the Dunn-Wilson's for an evening of pizza, popcorn and Men in Black with some of the lovely friendly-wendlies :) There was Emzy, Tisminda, Beffanyy, Jacky B, Timmy, Jake-us, Jo-eeeelllll and myself. Rave. But, you know what they say, "It just be raining black people in New York!" Haha I just lolled at a private joke. Mmmhmmm. It's ok, I can say it because it was in a film.


Moving swiftly on, yesterday after the wonders of Kevrennek (♪ You're beautiful hmhmhmhmhmhmmmm hmhmhmhmhmhmmmm ♪) we were all sat around in the café and at what is meant to be 'footsteps' (our youth group) but usually consists of laughing, Coke (the drink, not the drug... maybe) and texting each other even though were sat on the same sofa. Ho ho ho what giggles we have. I started off the game with a text of 'Good afternoon chums. Hold onto your hats... It's pointless text time!' to which the fabulous Beth Dunn-Wilson replied 'I don't have a hat.' Sheesh, she does English at college. You'd've thought she could recognise a metaphor. Is it a metaphor? Do I even care? No is the answer.

I pretty much spent the duration of the morning doing my history coursework (I totally didn't leave it to the last day of half term...). "‘It was the work that women did during the war that earned them the vote’. Use the sources and your own knowledge to explain whether you agree with this interpretation." Apparently 'I agree' isn't a suitable answer. Gutted.
But then, joy unbounded etc., my dear bezzerino Emily-Schmemily decided we would go to Pizza Hut for tea! Easy tiger. Usual crew minus a few (ooh that rhymes!); Em, Jack, Beth, Joel, Tamsin, Jake and meeee. Their happy hour (not happy meal Emily, you plonker. McDonald's is across the road!) lasts for four hours... huh? But it means I pay less, so I'll let them off :) Warm Cookie Dough for pudding. Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I did keep calling the waitress a beautiful child of God, but I don't think she heard so SHE CAN PROVE NOTHING. MUHAHAHAHAHA.
The funny bit was how awkward Jake and Tamsin were. They are blates in lurve but didn't even talk to each other. I don't dare talk about it though. Tamsin'll go SKITZ ;)

Oh gorilla's underpants, I almost forgot it's school again tomorrow. Triple History with Mr Blyth, who I'm pretty sure is General Douglas 'the Butcher' Haig reincarnated. The horror is almost unimaginable, but at least the coursework's finished.

And I have to mention X Factor, because it is the beggar's biscuits (i.e. good). Why on earth are John and Edward still in? WHY GOD WHY? They actually suck at singing and, guess what, X Factor is a SINGING competition. Oh, the humanity.

As the great and mighty Beth Uglow once said: "Dear Grim Reaper, so far this year you have taken my favourite dancer; Michael Jackson, my favourite singer; Stephen Gately, and my favourite actor; Heath Ledger. In case you were wondering, my favourite twins are John and Edward." Now, I think this is nasty but, you know what they say, all's fair in love and reality TV.

Oooh and thankies to Beth D-W (who I seem to mention a lot. Mainly because she's fan-dabby-tastic.) for the shout out on her blog. Check hers out too. I do know where you live:

http://islacatpuss.blogspot.com/

Dear Beth: I hope you enjoy your eco sneaks even though they're THE SAME COLOUR AS MINE. Some people eh?

Well then, pretty much time to head upstairs to Bedfordshire. (But wait, my bedrooms downstairs. Never mind.)
Auf Wiedersehn chums.
Beth x

Just getting started.

Howdy-Doody Bloggerinos :)

No, that sounds stupid, how about...

Hey everyone!

That'll do, it's much more normal.

So I'm trying out blogging for the first time, and am not expecting to be very good at it. Actually, I'm only doing it because the lovely Beth Dunn-Wilson (go team Beth!) is doing one too - read it - and suggested I should do one too. Why not, eh? I don't really know much about the technicalities (if that's even how you spell it) but I think I'd prefer to remain blissfully ignorant, thank you very much.

Anyhoo, I'm Beth and I have been described as 'stupidly clever' and 'mentally unstable' amongst other things by my fellow beansprouts, but it's ok because I only bite on Wednesdays :) I'm in year 11 at school and am 'looking forward' to doing my GCSEs. Sure.

I'm a Christian. A proper one too. I mean, I've been to church at least once. Haha I joke, I joke.
No, I really am a Christian. Not a 'You're all going to Hell! Begone Satan!' Christian, or on the flipside a 'Jesus loves you, let me lick your face' type either. I'm a fairly average girl, to be honest. There's nothing remarkable about me in the least, but I don't mind. Except, as I found out on Friday, I am pretty good at posing like a chav. It's a skill to be strived for, believe you me ;)


So, in this blog I'm probably just going to talk about what's going on in my life; and try to entertain you by doing so. Enjoy...


I almost forgot, my uncle does a blog too. Check it out; he's won prizes for it and everything!

Have a gander: http://www.davesdistrictblog.blogspot.com/


Tata for now then chaps :)

Beth x